Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Comrade's: How low can YOU go?


Have you ever wondered how low your standards are? Are you a bartender with low self-esteem, or able swallow your dignity in order to keep your electricity from being shut off? If so, Comrades Sports Bar and Grill may be looking for you! Streetwalking is hard work – come sit on your ass 35 hours a week for less than minimum wage (remember: health insurance is for pansies) at our idyllic location in a once-glorious shopping center, conveniently located next to the interstate!

1-2 years of bartending experience is required so we can cast you aside like a soiled sock once we find someone who can eat more shit than you. Brown-nosers will briefly be given preferential treatment.

Prepare for an “open” interview where you can catch up with other unemployed bartenders in front of our locked door while waiting indefinitely in our bracing Colorado winter weather. Comrade's is always looking for hard-working employees to shitcan due to our revolving-door policy.

Send email to d.bagg@comrades.com. Free-thinkers need not apply.

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

What's all the Cacophony?

The Anti-Reeding Prohtest
I found a stash of old posts touting events I ran in Los Angeles under the auspices of the dead-but-not-gone Cacophony Society in 2008-2009.

From the "official" source: "The Cacophony Society is a randomly gathered network of individuals united in the pursuit of experiences beyond the pale of mainstream society through subversion, pranks, art, fringe explorations and meaningless madness. You may already be a member!"

The CS had been unofficially disbanded years before, but a small group of us decided to ignore that particular detail. I personally never heard a peep of neither support nor disgust from old LA Caco members, but sometimes I got the feeling we were those damned whippersnappers on the old man's lawn. It was probably more fun that way.

These events spanned from the well-attended to the cheese stands alone. Their actual success is of limited importance; what's important is that they happened! Or at least that's what I'll keep telling myself. Here they are, complete with high-class fliers created in MS Paint.


Read-Aloud-Along!

We came. We saw. We literated.

Come and join us Sunday, April 13 at the Barnes & Noble at The Grove in Los Angeles as we reinvent the art of sharing. The public wants to consume culture, and we aim to feed it to ‘em! Here’s the story (no pun intended):

At 1pm we’ll wander casually into B&N, and pick out a book of our own choosing – the Bible, bodice-rippers, C++ programming, French poetry, whatever floats one’s boat. At 1:10, the public readings shall begin, as we all walk the store sharing aloud passages from our chosen books. The reading shall continue until 1:25, or until security throws us out.

EXTRA CREDIT! Participants are encouraged to create at least three bookmarks bearing a special message to consumers to place into random books around the store before the reading begins. Easily done while browsing for your favorite title to titillate the public with!

Please join us afterwards at the Buzz coffee shop 7623 Beverly Blvd, LA 90036 (at the corners of Beverly Blvd and The Grove Dr.).

GETTING THERE:
Parking at The Grove is terrible and costs $$. By public transport, you can take the Metro to the Hollywood and Highland station, then hop on the 217 bus at the northwest corner of Hollywood and Highland Blvds (westbound). Get off at Fairfax and 3th St. The Grove is behind the Farmer’s Market. Or you can find your own route at the handy Los Angeles Metro Authority site: www.metro.net/default.asp

Any questions? Contact Reecy via Tribe or email.



The Anti-Reeding Prohtest


2 balunce owt th blatuntlee pro-literrate stanse uf th Cuhcawfunny Sowsiyeti’s resent “Read-Aloud-Along”, plees joyn us in frunt uf th Loss Angeles Centrul Libary on Saturday, May 17, n show th publik how u reely fell. Bulhorns n anti-reedin siyns n/or pamflets, mispelled or – SCREW WURDS! – in drarwings, r encuraged.

Wher:
630 W. 5th Street
Los Angeles, CA 90071
(S Grand Ave side, 2 blocs frum th Pershing Square metro stopp on th
Wred Line)

"Can I give you a pamphlet not to read?"
Wen:
4pm Satourday, May 17 2008

Afterwurds we will conveen at Bar 107, locatted at 107 W 4th St (crner
of 4th and Main).

Emale Reesee if u havve anee qwestuns.












I'm sure this next one wasn't the first event of its kind, but my ego feels compelled to note that this was years before the "Occupy" movement.

Los Angeles CEOs (beg) for CHANGE!

CEOs For Change
Sunday, 16 November 2008, 1:30pm
Hollywood

CEOs, COOs, high-level business executives, lend me your ears!

In these tough economic times, we hear nothing but blah-blah-blah “Main Street” this, blah-blah-blah, “middle class” that. But what about us, the executives of America? Do we not bleed blue blood?! Do we not require caviar and prompt tee-off times?! These Rolexes and BMWs DO NOT pay for themselves, as I’m sure your CPA has already informed you.

If you’re worried your golden parachute may fail to fully deploy, please join us in Hollywood at 1:30pm on Sunday, November 16 wearing your business best. We will convene at Starbucks in the Hollywood and Highland complex, where we shall drink double-decaf-extra-dry cappuccinos and speak loudly to our assistants over our Blueberries. At 1:45, we shall take to Hollywood Blvd with signs and engraved silver alms cups to demand pocket change from the gullible working class citizens that save up all year to take their families on vacation to Los Angeles. Seriously, those suckers kill me. Your secretaries, trophy wives and boy toys are encouraged to come along and fetch refills for us.



My last hurrah:

The Red Line Pub Crawl

In their infinite wisdom, the Los Angeles MTA has decided to keep the Red Line running until 3am on the weekends until the end of the year. We, the Party People of Los Angeles, will celebrate this sage decision while showing our support for public transportation AND the local economy on the day after Thanksgiving. Because we all know the best way to give thanks is by getting plowed.

Here’s the deal:

We will meet at the Traxx bar at Union Station at 8pm (near the front entrance), to swill cocktails and stare upward in amazement at the beautiful Art Deco ceilings. Around 9pm we shall get ourselves hence to the Metro. Reecy recommends buying a day pass for $5 beforehand. A flask is recommended for subtle on-board consumption.

The full details of stop number two will be posted soon.

Our evening will conclude (or just really get started) on the Cahuenga strip, that bastion of shitty, shitty parking, and home to such fabulous bars as rock’n’roll favorites Tiny’s KO and the Burgundy Room, the electro stylings of the Beauty Bar and the perpetual Dia de los Muertos that is the Velvet Margarita.

When we’ve all been thrown out of Hollywood’s finest watering holes at 2am, we shall bask in the joy that is Not Driving One’s Drunk Ass Home as we return to the Hollywood and Vine metro stop. Bonus points for walking to a diner near your stop for some late-night chow.
UPDATE!

Our second stop of the night will be the Wilshire/Western station, where our excursion shall lead us to Frank and Hanks, and the amazing LED kitsch that is Beertown for our Post-Thanksgiving pleasure.

In other news, the managers at Beauty Bar and The Burgundy Room on Cahuenga have agreed to hook our pub crawl up with some drink specials. $2 Beauty Bar shots and a free shot with any drink at the Burgundy. Hooray!

See you tonight at the Traxx bar at Union Station, 8pm!

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Feelin' San Franfrisky


Orin & Lynae
My recent trip to San Francisco was so good I had a hard time condensing it into one post.

Photo-bombing bridge. Photo by Orin Zebest
In past trips to SF I've stayed at the Chez Poulet, a warehouse converted into a community performance space by showman, activist and bullshit impresario Chicken John in the Latino/hipster Mission district. He's been something of a mentor to me in my journey through the weird, and kind enough to offer up his teardrop trailer nested in a loft above the stage at the warehouse when I've been in town. When I first staying there years ago Chez Poulet was also inhabited by a number of artists, some of whom are still dear friends to this day, but recently Chicken has cycled out the artists to renovate the place. I crashed there when I visited this January, but it was cold and lonely in that big drafty warehouse, so I was very pleased that my bonkers friends Orin and Lynae volunteered to host me on this trip. Lynae actually orchestrated my visit, really.


Most Likely to Cause an Argument


I first met these crazy kids at Camp Tipsy -- where we build boats out of rubbish and dreams – in the summer of 2012. I showed up on Monday to help set up for the weekend event and Orin was the only other person on-site apart from Chicken, who was running back and forth from SF to our lakeside location somewhere outside of Sacramento. This Orin guy, he was *weird*, and that's saying something coming from me. But I'm a social gal, and he seemed harmless enough, so I strung my camping hammock up near Orin's tent and we spent the next few days sorting through all manner of dumpster-dived materials. It was a bonding experience, and by Thursday Orin and I commandeered a leaky old dingy from the pile, flipped it upside-down, filled it with empty milk cartons and screwed plastic seats to the top. (“The Crafty Oarsman” was a delightfully ineffectual vessel.) Orin's a pretty laid-back guy, and apparently I spent a fair amount of time shouting at him during this process. After observing our construction antics from the shore, our weekend neighbors made up an award just for us: “Boat Most Likely to Cause an Argument.”

Lynae, with her purple hair and “adora-troll” ways, came along later that weekend, but I didn't really get to know her until my last trip to SF. I was going through a pretty tough time. She and Orin (among others) were instrumental in my sanity maintenance.

No, we always dress like this.
On my first full day in SF this time around – the day before Halloween – we piled into their pickup truck and cruised around town. When we showed up for a by-donationwalking tour of Chinatown the retiree guide asked us if we were gearing up for “the holiday”. Nope, we informed him, we always dress like this. Afterwards they took me where the buffalo roam in Golden Gate Park, got photo-bombed by some famous bridge outside the Legion of Honor museum, ate Japanese ice cream crepes, visited an aquarium shop run by the mafia and saw the Yoda fountain at the Industrial Lights and Magic campus.





Crimebo & Lynae
After a year in the Montana wilderness I was ready to get my Halloween freak on San Francisco style. When I found out that our Halloween plans were to help some friends out with their family-friendly block party across the bay in Richmond, I was initially a little disappointed. Upon our arrival my disappointment soon dissipated, and I had a wonderful time manning the face-painting booth with Lynae et al. Richmond is not known as the best of neighborhoods, but there was no trouble at all and the families that attended seemed grateful and excited for the karaoke, ring-toss, balloon animals by L.A.'s Crimebo the Clown, Lego Jeep, temporary tattoo booth and prizes galore. It was great to be a part of the freaky cavalcade that came out from SF to put this on. It's never every day you get to see Sasquatch, Hera, Dracula and
a giant chicken belt out 80s classics. The afterparty was terrific too – it was a bunch of the cool kids from SF that I'd have wanted to hang with, except there was no “doof-doof” music to shout over. I finally donned my “GroucHo Marx” costume and somehow managed not to get any greasepaint in the hot tub. Selah.

Christopher rocks the accordion
I feel like I crammed a month of experience into a week on this visit. Along the way I also got a personal accordion performance in Oakland, shopped for skis with Chicken John, picnicked in Dolores Park, got repeatedly creeped out by life-like sculptures lurking in alleyways, was complimented in the Tenderloin, ate plenty of super-delicious international food and took a ride in the TARDIS while in a hypnotic trance. 


Could it really be that good all the time if I lived there?

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

The Six Stages of Lasagna


When I'm not on the road, occasionally I like to fix up some fancy bachelor-style meals. These mainly consist of breakfast five ways and dishes that involve noodles and plenty of leftovers. One of my favorite things to cook up is my mother's lasagna recipe, with cottage cheese instead of ricotta and extra sauce for sopping up with garlic bread. It's so hearty that meat is not required – I've tried and with 3 lbs of cheese I've found it's not worth the extra effort or cost.

I love lasagna. It's a large dish with plenty of leftovers, and as a “single” woman, making it is like summoning a genie in a fairy tale. Be careful what you wish for, Pontiff.

Leftovers: a double-edged sword.


Day One: “Oooooooh, fresh lasagna hot out of the oven! I'll have TWO helpings, please!”

Day Two: “Oh my goodness gracious me, there are lasagna leftovers for dinner, how exciting!”

Day Three: “Well, I guess I better eat some of that lasagna.”

Day Four: “Oh, god. That lasagna really needs to get eaten.”

Day Five: “Aw crap, lasagna again?”

Day Six “NO MORE!! NO MORE!!! PLEASE NO MORE!!!”


And then I either force myself to finish it or fob it off on a friend. I guess that's what I get for not inviting more people over for dinner on L-Day.

Thursday, October 17, 2013

Belgium to Berlin on a Thumbnail



Waterloo, Belgium to Berlin, Germany -- August 2011

I'd caught the European equivalent of a Craigslist ride from Berlin to Brussels to meet the effervescent Heather Vescent who was in town on business from Los Angeles. She'd just been hired by a large Belgian firm to help predict the future of tech and the economy (yes, that's right, she's a professional Futurist!). It was fun to watch her leave for the day in her sassy tailored suits and purple hair*. After a few days touring Brussels – go see the Atomium when you're there! – it was time to hitchhike back to Berlin.

In delightful contrast to our posh hotel in the suburb of Waterloo**, I hefted my beat-up backpack over my shoulder around check-out time and hoofed it a mile to the highway. Soon I hopped in the car with an elven middle-aged lady on her way to work in Brussels. She listened to Europop with English lyrics on the radio and at a stoplight handed a bag of cookies to an old Turkish beggar woman on the side of the road, as was her daily custom. She took me to the fancy organic food store she worked at and set me up with a care package of granola and trail mix, as well as a reusable black laminated card with an erasable white marker. On it she wrote: “Berlin – Merci! Dank U! Thank You!” and drew a smiley face giving a thumbs up. I used the back side of that card many times on my European hitchhiking journeys. It still travels with me in the trunk of my car, her happy message emblazoned upon it.

It was shift change at her shop, and my second ride was from her co-worker, a sweet gentleman in his late 20s from Côte d'Ivoire. He spoke no English, and I speak very little French, so communication was tricky. Fortunately the international language of reggae pumped through the stereo. This fellow must have driven 20 minutes out of his way to get me to a serviceable service station outside of the city.

The next ride was from a Moroccan chauffeur-by-day, rockstar-by-night. He explained to me a number of times in excited, broken English that his Moroccan reggae-funk band features the guitarist from Blondie, and he invited me to stay with him in Liege if I wanted to come back in September for their next show. We exchanged albums, and when he dropped me off he told me to give him a call if I had trouble catching another ride.

I was stuck at that service station in Liege for a couple of hours, eating a sandwich made from ingredients pilfered from the hotel's buffet and wrapped up in a bag from the room provided for “sanitary reasons." My last ride for the day finally came from a Congolese fellow who taught underprivileged Belgian youth to rap in French. He'd just dropped his Rwandan-Canadian girlfriend off at the airport after her two-month visit and had picked me up on his way to Cologne to take his mind off the fact that he wouldn't see her again until December. 

I'd never been to Cologne, and the weather that day was so nice that I was loathe to spend it wasting away in automobiles. When I said I might spend the night there, the Congolese fellow was nice enough to drop me in the city center. A lot of my rides have gone out of their way for me, and I sincerely appreciated it every time, especially while toting 40+ lbs of gear. Boots back on the ground, I got a bead on a couple of hostels from a hotel concierge. Before I checked in I sat gazing at an ancient cathedral from a pub patio in the old town, soaking up the sunshine over a Kolsch, listening to an Irishman speak German with an Irish accent and a German speak English with an Irish accent, too.

The next day, with a raging hangover, I successfully – if painfully – hitched the remaining 350 miles back to Berlin in twelve hours with five trucks, two cars and one hell of a headache. I holed up in my spartan Kreuzberg room the day after that, listening to the din of Goelitzer Park that wafted through my open window as I recovered.


*The crazy loon then flew into Reno for the last two days of Burning Man. Jet-setters, us.
**Yes, that Waterloo. And yes, I did have Abba stuck in my head for the duration of our stay.

Sunday, October 6, 2013

Creepy-Crawly Concerns


Esmerelda outside of Hydrangea
Here on Cherrymont Farm in southern Pennsylvania I'm currently residing in a cabin known as Hydrangea House – named for the flowers that surround it – a wooden structure roughly 10x10 feet built in the early 1900s. There's a loft for sleeping, so the floorspace of the cabin feels pretty roomy. A small round table covered by an patterned Indian cloth sits in front of large windows where I procrastinate from working on the second draft of my novel by looking out at the lush green grass and autumn fireworks. This morning I woke to a lovely romantic mist creating chiaroscuro haze in the treetops visible from the high window of Hydrangea that ventilates the loft.

But it is awfully rustic here, which is saying something after a year on an off-grid homestead in Montana. While I have electricity in the cabin – supplied by a power strip plugged into a heavy-duty extension cord that runs from the main house – the bathroom facilities are in the big house or the outhouse, both a mere 20 second walk away. Last time I was here I didn't recall being quite so entrenched in nature, but that was in the dead of winter, when buggies go dormant. I'm no longer super squeamish about insects and vermin, but I do have a few creepy-crawly concerns.

My workspace. Pity me.
Yesterday there were three hornets inside the cabin. I let them be because I don't like to interact with stinging-things if I don't have to. Especially in a magazine-wielding capacity – if I miss my target, things could get ugly. That was probably not a great idea though, as they were poking around the joint like prospective real estate buyers. One hornet made the mistake of landing in my bed last night though, so I killed it. That's the deal I have with the bugs in Hydrangea – stay away from my bed and I'll most likely leave you alone. Come near my bed and you forfeit your life. I think it's a reasonable request.

The stink bugs are just irritating. I don't remember them ever being this prolific in my southern childhood. They stink differently too, a mix between cheap cologne and musty farts. They're beginning to look for cozy places to spend the winter, which they often believe is my bed – and they'd be right if it weren't for me. Every night before I go to sleep I have to sift through three layers of covers and flick the stinkers away. The other night I had to evict ten from their blanket fort. They're harder to kill because I don't want to squash them in the bedding, so they generally escape with what is essentially a good spanking. Last night I didn't find any, so maybe they're learning.

I'm also certain I have at least one rodent friend in the cabin. Sometimes the scratching around in the ceiling wakes me from a dead sleep at night, and I've found mutilated pieces of tissue on the built-in counter top. As long as I don't die of the Hanta virus, I suppose it'll be okay.

The view from the loft
I don't really mind the spiders – they eat other bugs and tend to keep to themselves. For a while I had an orb weaver (non-poisonous, I looked it up) the size of a 50 cent piece who built her large, luxurious web just off the loft. She freaked me out at first, but the night she moved in there were so many mosquitoes in the cabin that I let her do her thing. I named her Edwina and told her that as long as she stayed away from my bed we could live in harmony. Edwina hung out for a week and then disappeared one day. I was sad to see her go, I'd become quite fond of her company and bug-disposal services.

I believe Edwina's departure marks the beginning of the bug hibernation sequence. So while I'm enjoying this bit of Indian summer, it will be nice when the chilly weather drives all the winged creatures dormant. The mice, well, I might just have to accept them as my cabin companions through the colder months. But it's worth it for the tranquility and regular impromptu dinner parties Cherrymont is famous for.

Friday, September 27, 2013

The Places at the End of the Spaces in Between -- a musical tribute

I'm feeling the incessant grasp of gravity that holds land masses in place. I long for continents collided. I know the charm of it all lies in that ruthless distance, the spaces in between where I am and where I've been. Mostly I am absent, so my heart of full of fondness.

For now my Pangean heartbreak will maintain those oceanic fissures. The continents collide inside my fantasies--but remain far and wide thanks to necessity.
-R. Pontiff

Please enjoy the following musical tribute to a small sampling of the places I long for. (After the jump)

Sunday, August 18, 2013

ARTICLE: Time to Bale

Well, I made it back to the east coast in one piece. Montana to DC in four days of driving, whew! I thought to honor my time in the Rocky Mountains, I'd post my swansong for the Philipsburg Mail (August 2013).

---------------
Time to bale
by Reecy Pontiff

Well, I did it. Yes, this southern city girl made it through an entire year in Montana, including a winter, and most of the summer (which is like a New Orleans winter, but colder).

And to cap it off, I became a part of that revered annual ranching ritual: the hay harvest.

My rig during the hay harvest, the hay rake.
When I mentioned my new employment to my Montana friends, many regaled me with stories of driving tractors shortly after they took their first steps, but were encouraging nonetheless.

When I told my metropolitan friends what I was doing with my summer vacation, there were mixed reactions. My favorite came from one of my most fabulous of city-slicker friends, a cabaret singer named Chris who exclaimed, “Reecy, you're a farmer now?!”

I suppose for a few weeks there, I was.

My job was to operate the hay rake. For you fellow city mice out there, a hay rake is a long “V” shaped contraption on wheels pulled behind a tractor. The beams that form the “V” have a number of light-weight metal wheels covered in tines that spin on the ground, combing flattened rows of mowed hay together into big, fluffy piles. This allows the hay to dry faster – if you have wet hay in a bale it will rot – and the baling machine to scoop it up more efficiently. It was fun to watch the baler roll by, gobbling up the rows of hay like Pacman and then periodically pooping out a big round bale like a gigantic mutant rabbit pellet. 

Life from the tractor.
The training I received was startlingly brief, considering that I'd never even ridden on a tractor before, and how lawsuit-happy America has become. My only strict instructions were not to hit any bales (“The bales will win.”) and to keep the tires of the rake out of the ditches. Each field is hemmed in by irrigation ditches, which given my instructions meant the outer ring of hay was the most stressful to rake. It was hard not to feel at least a little paranoid, as the job entailed constantly looking over my shoulder to make sure the tires and rake wheels were all where they belonged and functioning properly.

On my first day I repeatedly hit a particularly lumpy patch of ground and my tiny, open cab John Deere pitched uneasily beneath me every time I moved across it. I asked my co-hayer, who like everyone else in Granite County had been doing this since birth, how difficult it might be to actually roll a tractor. “More talent than you've got,” he replied amicably, which put me at my ease–though I think he underestimated my talent.

The baler at work. See? GIANT RABBIT PELLETS!
As for my boss, he spoke almost reverently of the reason we'd gathered together. “That's some good hay,” he'd say with bright eyes. And he wasn't exaggerating—I keep hearing around town that this is the most hay a lot of folks have ever seen in these fields, and a number of times out on the ranch we had issues with the baler jamming up because there was so much.

Generally I found operating the rake to be meditative. I created a temporary labyrinth from the ground, shaping tidy lanes across the valley between four-foot, olive-drab barricades of hay that would soon be transformed into a flat, camel-colored landscape dotted with bales.

Haying was one of the best seasonal job I've ever had. I soon shall take my leave of the Rocky Mountain wildfires and return to moister altitudes--but might I return to Montana for the next haying season? I just might at that.

#end#

Saturday, August 10, 2013

ARTICLE: These Boots Were Made for BBQ


From the Philipsburg Mail, July 2013

----------------------------------
by Reecy Pontiff

“The nice thing about barbecue is that there are no fingerprints, so you can't trace anything to anywhere,” laughed rotund and jolly BBQ impresario John Bagorio as he performed emergency chicken skin surgery on his entry with a toothpick.

Bagorio traveled with his three man team, “Da Fat Boyz BBQ”, all the way from Portland, Oregon in a converted 1989 ambulance to compete in the first annual Boots and BBQ Cookoff at the Drummond Rodeo last weekend.

It was a last-minute decision for the team to head up; Bagorio's regular teammate was unavailable to come, but “it showed up on the schedule and I'd never been to Montana, so I said, if I can get help, I'll come.”

Though Montana is a first for them, Bagorio's team participates in cookoffs near and far.

It's tricky to guess what judges will like in any given region as tastes vary from place to place, according to Bagorio. The day before the rodeo Da Fat Boyz sold samples to try and get a feel for the Montana palate.

“We travel all over the country and each region has a different flavor,” he said, “What I'm hoping is they like a little bit of heat and a little bit of sweet. If they don't, we're in trouble.”

It's not cheap participating in these events and Da Fat Boyz regularly look at $1000 in expenses between entry fees, travel and supplies. Some of their costs are recouped from food sales, but the big money is in the cash prizes – $6500 in all this time – handed out by the Pacific Northwest Barbecue Association (PNWBA), the group who with the help of Drummond mayor Gail Leeper sanctioned the Drummond cookoff.

The PNWBA's judging is done double-blind – each entry is put in a box with a barcode on it and assigned a random number. This is done “so your friends can't help you and your enemies can't screw you,” said BBQ master Dale Groetsema, who came out from Vancouver, Washington to participate.
Participants are also given a deadline to turn in their entries.

“If you're early you just stand around and wait,” Groetsema said, “if you're late you're disqualified.”

The competition included four kinds of meat – ribs, beef brisket, pork and chicken – judged for appearance, texture and taste. The judges are all certified by the PNWBA and overseen by a “table captain”, a sort of referee for the judges, according to head judge Angie Quaale.

“This is a first year event and kind of out of the way, so it's a good place to get your feet wet,” said Quaale, and with only eight teams “it's a great place to start with a small competition.”

This year the “Mayor's Choice” award, along with overall second place, went to Philipsburg's Upnsmokin' BBQ.

Competitions are how Upnsmokin' originally got their start, but to cover costs they had to start catering. Now with the restaurant, they've had to make time to get back to their roots according to owner Brett Schreyer.

“You have to back it up,” Schreyer said, “Some barbecue joints, as soon as they open up a restaurant they stop [competing] and they lose credibility with their customers.”

“So far it's been great. There's some top-notch cooks from the Pacific Northwest here,” he continued, “the contest is small but the competition is high.”


#end#

Thursday, August 8, 2013

ARTICLE: Merrill K Riddick - Pioneering Eccentricity


I was terrible about documenting the 10 months I spent on an off-grid homestead in Montana. Fortunately I spent most of that time scribbling for the local rag, The Philipsburg Mail, which covers all of Granite County, MT (population 3000). I'll be posting some of my articles here.

From the Philipsburg Mail, May 2013:
--------------------------------
by Reecy Pontiff

Granite County's airport, Riddick Field, bears the name of a quixotic legend, a man who barnstormed with Charles Lindberg, ran three unsuccessful presidential campaigns and pioneered environmentalism in America. 

“He wasn't going to be the president... but everybody tolerated him. He had respect,” said Dean Neitz, who worked at the Philipsburg Mail when Merrill K. Riddick made his home here after World War II.

Neitz ran the printing press late into the night, sometimes until two in the morning, and Riddick would stop by to chew his ear off.

“When I'd be working at night Merrill would come in, and he'd talk and he'd talk and he'd talk. I was trying to run the press... He was kind of a nuisance. ” Neitz said.

But “he was certainly very bright... and a very accomplished pilot,” Neitz said.

And Riddick surely was. A graduate in the first class of the Army Air Force Aeronautics School in California, Riddick flew reconnaissance missions in Europe during WWI and acted as a flight instructor in both World Wars. He later barnstormed in an air circus with Charles A. Lindbergh and was also one of America's first airmail pilots, according to the University of Montana's Riddick archives.

Neitz recalls Riddick saying “he landed many times on the White House lawn with the mail,” during one of their late-night sessions.

Though born in New York state, Riddick's family moved to Montana when he was 11 years old. After his adventures through the wild blue yonder, Riddick returned to Montana to prospect for gold, according to his New York Times obituary.

While mining around the Granite County area, Riddick made local history by staking a claim on the corner of the bank parking lot in downtown Philipsburg. He drove a 4x4 post into the ground and placed the claim in an old tobacco can hanging from it, according to Mike Kahoe, who was chairman of the committee that rededicated Philipsburg Airport in Riddick's name.

“I don't know if you can actually stake claims on private property,” Kahoe said, “but I think he was trying to make a point.”

“The banker didn't like that very well because [Riddick] was actually thinking about drilling,” said Steve Immenschuh, who was just a boy in the 1960s and 70s when his mother ran the Philipsburg hotel where Riddick took up residence, “He had a drill rig just outside of town here on another project... he was serious!”

Riddick was quite a character around town, a short, round widower with thick glasses. He forayed into politics after the death of his wife, making a bid for governor of Montana in 1968 and U.S. senator in 1972. Failing miserably on both counts Riddick decided to raise his sites to the highest office in the nation – he ran presidential campaigns in 1976, 1980 and 1984, according to his New York Times obituary.

Immenschuh was a teenager when Riddick asked him to paint a campaign sign for his first election, which was hung in the window of Riddick's office on Broadway.

After Riddick lost, “it was stored in the hotel basement... a year later he decided he was going to run for another political office and we dig out the sign and I repaint it with a different party and a different office,” Immenschuh said, “The 'Merrill Riddick' stayed and everything else changed.”

Riddick was also famous for refusing to accept campaign donations – with the exception of a silver dollar from young Immenschuh.

“He was kind of a unique guy. I went down to his office and said, 'I know you're not taking any campaign contributions, but have a silver dollar,'” Immenschuh said, “He thought that was pretty nice. He said, 'That's not really a campaign contribution, that's something else,' so he took it.”

Fortunately Riddick had other projects to spend that silver dollar on. He also published a periodical on resource management called the “Journal of Applied Human Ecology” completely out of his own pocket – and that of his local financiers.

“My dad owned the service station... and I can remember him when I was a kid coming up and asking my dad for a little bit of money” to publish the journal, Kahoe said.

As the name of his journal suggested, the environment was a huge issue for Riddick. During his late-night sessions at the printing press with Neitz, “he talked about environmentalists. Nobody had heard the terminology [back then]. He was ahead of his time,” Nietz said.

To that end, Riddick ran for president under a political party of his own creation, the grandiosely named Magneto-hydrodynamics-Puritan Epic-Prohibition Party.

“He explained to me [his political party] had to do with producing electricity through burning coal and producing steam to turn the turbines,” Immenschuh said, “Which was really neat because I'd never heard of it before.”

And so it came that Philipsburg Airport was renamed Riddick Field on the town's bicentennial in 1976. Due to poor health Riddick had already relocated to Maryland to live with his sister, but he returned to Granite County with his family for the ceremony on that sunny day in May. “Several hundred persons flocked to the field” to listen to the local high school bands and watch the air circus, according to the May 6, 1976 issue of the Philipsburg Mail. Riddick even returned to the skies once more, taking a ride in an open cockpit biplane during the celebrations.

Merrill K. Riddick died in 1988, but here in Granite County his legend will live on forever.

#end#

Saturday, August 3, 2013

ARTICLE: The City Girl's Guide to Winter in Montana


My, my, blogosphere, it has been a while since last we talked. 

I did it. One whole year in Montana. I'll actually be leaving on my first anniversary. There's so much I could say, but instead I'll post this piece I wrote not long after my arrival here (in fact the first article I wrote for the Philipsburg Mail back in October 2012, which I've been scribbling for ever since). It's actually hilarious to go back and read my blog posts from Cherrymont Farm in PA (where I only spent a month) after having braved life on an off-grid homestead for a Montana-style winter.

More to come later. Enjoy!

 ---------------------
The City Girl's Guide to Winter in Montana
By Reecy Pontiff

With the first dustings of snow covering the mountains here in Montana, Philipsburg is abuzz with a completely foreign concept to me: winter.

I'm a dyed-in-the-wool city girl – and to top it off, a Southerner. I relocated to Philipsburg about two months ago, and while I grew up with the occasional snow during my childhood in Virginia, I haven't spent a whole winter north of Louisiana in almost a decade. The nighttime temperatures here have already dropped well below what we see during the coldest months in New Orleans – when it hits 60 degrees we're shivering in our parkas on the Gulf Coast. My beau, a Rocky Mountain native, and I have already argued over whether popcorn snow is “real” snow or not a number of times – of course it is, I say – and it's not even “real” winter yet. I've avoided winter for a very long time, so long that it's become a mythical beast in my head. This year it's time to face my fear.

TIMBER! Felling my first tree.
But ultimately, this is all an adventure to me, and living on the side of a mountain a few miles outside of town I'm experiencing firsthand what must be accomplished before a thick blanket of snow creates extra challenges for outdoor projects. Most of this is all new to a city girl like me. Before I moved here, I thought sawyers were just relatives of Tom, but today I felled my first tree with a chainsaw. Earlier this month I helped thresh the kale seeds and harvest onions and potatoes from the garden. Soon we'll be cutting the rest of the firewood and canning up stews. I'll be going on my first hunt, though thankfully we won't be relying on my skills alone for this year's meat.

When I tell Philipsburgers where I'm from, many say I'm really in for it come winter time. Fortunately far more folks say that winter is their favorite season here in Montana and that I'm in for a treat.

So while the cold and the dark are daunting, I am looking forward to fun in the snow. I grew up skiing on the icy, groomed slopes of the Appalachians and can't wait to carve into the powder of the Pintlers.

Here on the mountain we'll be gearing up for my first snowshoeing expedition and I've been promised an ice luge to sled down once the snow is deep enough.

We'll build wooden sculptures to burn in a bonfire for the winter solstice, and I'm hoping that at least once or twice I can commute to work by snowmobile – that'll boggle some minds when I tell my friends down in New Orleans.

Perhaps most of all I am thoroughly charmed by the romantic vision of snuggling up with my mountain man and the dogs and a steaming mug of chocolate by the blazing wood stove, reading aloud from a favorite book as the fluffy snow piles up outside the window, dancing the limbs of the Lodgepoles in the gulch. It's a writer's dream, really.

Yes, if my thin Cajun blood can stay pumping in the cold and my vagabond soul can withstand the cabin fever, my first Montana winter shall be a wonderland indeed.

#end#

Friday, June 15, 2012

A Rocky Start Toward the Rocky Mountains


I’m off on my next Great Adventure, a large loop of the Pacific Northwest -- if all goes to plan -- followed by a stint in Montana where I’ll finish the second draft of my novel.

And with any great adventure, it got off to a rocky start.

The week before I left New Orleans I lost my wallet. I suppose I’m glad it happened before I left and not after, but a pain nonetheless. Ah, yes, Louisiana, where you can be whomever you wish. When I finally changed my CA license over to reflect my new residency two years ago, I was never asked to prove my home address; I simply rattled it off to the lady behind the desk. Her neon talons went clackity-clack on the keyboard as she typed it in without question. This time around I had to show proof of insurance on my vehicle, but was never asked for any form of ID at any time during the proceedings. If you’d like to become someone else, I highly recommend relocation to Louisiana. I could be anyone right now, but instead chose to remain myself.
 
At least I had a lovely companion for the Louisiana-Colorado segment of this trip. I’d placed an ad on Craiglist offering a ride from New Orleans to Colorado Springs or points in between and got messages from some very… interesting ladies, such as:
“I am a very easy to get along w/ humorous,outgoing and positive lady,mature,but extremely young at heart. Love 2 explore, laugh and b goofy, and I am non-judgemental, respectful and spiritually minded.
As of now it would b just me, but just checking 2 c if my 2 itsy-bitsy well behaved dogs may b allowed. […] Im not sure if I will take them yet, may have sum1 bring them up later,just lemme know if its a possibility.I would,however, definately need room 4 luggage,the back seat is fine. June 12th is awesume,so plz call me 2 talk bout it, may b meet 4 coffee so we r both comfortable,but Im alota fun!”
 and
“My name is *** and I saw your ride share ad and it made my mouth water in a good way. I have a hankerin for a good road trip. I am flexible with my dates.

You asked for some personal information. I am 64 years young and have traveled the US, mostly to research BBQ because my dream is to write a book about the best BBQ in the US. I am easy to get a long with. [...] The only thing (or two things) that you should know is that I am a nudist. I am actually allergic to many clothes fibers and can't stay in them for long periods of time. So while I would be in my clothes for some of the trip, I would prefer to be out of them for the long stretches of road where we are just driving. The second..well, I don't think that's important. I am happy to pay for my share of gas and I do my own pickeling. Let me know when we leave!
I fibbed and told both these ladies that I already had found a rider, though in retrospect I wish I’d drawn the nudist pickler out to find out more about the “second thing.” Was it that you are an axe-murderer madam? I can see why you’d prefer to tell me that once we got on the road, instead.
I finally received a message from my passenger-to-be:
“Hey there are you still in need of a rider? My name is **** I'm also a musician/ creative type and smoke cigarettes and enjoy music of all makes and models. Unfortunately I don't Have a liscence so I can't help with the driving but I can give you gas money for sure and keep you entertained with lots of stories and ukulele songs:) Hope to hear from you soon!
Tracy (name changed to protect the travelin’ kids) is a 21-year-old hippie waif with a history of hitchhiking and a level head for her age. Apparently she started wandering around Europe at age 16, though this trip was to be the furthest west she’d ever been in the States. When Tracy got in the car she told me that she could afford the gas money we’d agreed on but not much else, and that if I stopped at restaurants and the like she probably wouldn’t get anything. We’d both brought food for the road so that was no big deal, and while my comfort level is a higher than hers, her lifestyle is no mystery to me. We had pleasant conversation along the way, and I feel like I imparted some wisdom from the road to her: odd-numbered highways go north-south, evens east-west; mile markers generally line up with the exit numbers. Useful information for hitchhiker and traveler alike.

I was regretting the decision to remain my own self in Louisiana when I was pulled over shortly after crossing into Texas, mere hours into our trip. I was going less than 10 miles over the speed limit and keeping up with traffic on the interstate, so I was surprised when the police vehicle in front of me slammed on his brakes, moved into the slow lane, merged in behind me and flipped on his lights. Not only that, the officer asked me to get out of my car and come over to his SUV as four lanes of 18-wheelers screamed past so he could write up my ticket. Safety third, Texas! I can only guess that the cop saw I was from out of state and knew I was unlikely to show up at a court date.

Shortly before sunset we stopped to camp out at a hidden reservoir near Wichita Falls, TX, so hidden it took us three passes on the gravel road to find it. While we celebrated the mid-point in our journey with a PBR tallboy in the fading light, the Aaron Eckhart of game wardens stopped by with a puzzled look on his clean-shaven, clefted-chin face. He said he’d never seen women camping out here alone before, except for one old Native American who was here to mediate under the stars, which he thought was strange. (I said that they’d be doing that for a long, long time before we got here, and he laughed, “I guess you’re right.”) He asked us many questions: “Where are you from?”  “How old are you?” “Do you have any weapons?” “When are you leaving?” “How did you even find this place??” For a minute we thought he was going to ask us to move along, though the Texas state website said that camping was allowed. Eventually Game Warden Eckhart told us that the yahoos didn’t really come out here until the weekend, so we should be pretty safe and drove off in his muddy pickup with the lights off so he could “sneak up on people.”

We settled down to sleep about an hour later, I in my camping hammock and Tracy in her sleeping bag under the stars. Around 3am I roused her.

“We have to go someplace with a bathroom.”

Yes, I had developed food poisoning from the pulled pork I’d finagled three days before I left New Orleans (lesson learned: religiously ice down the cooler when meat is involved). Within 10 minutes we had the car packed up and were zooming down the muddy gravel road to the nearest truck stop, where we spent the next hour waiting it out. Tracy was a champ. Yes, her having the ability to help drive the last 450 miles would have been a great help to me, but what she lacked in licenses she made up for in patience and understanding. I had to take four naps that day to get us all the way to Pueblo, CO, and she made no complaints of any kind along the way. She even gave me a little massage at a rest area in New Mexico to alleviate my excruciating lower back pains.

It took us 12 hours to drive the last 450 miles of the trip, but with her moral support I was able to pull it off. She was off to see her sister in Gunnison, another 4 hours west of Pueblo, so we found her a good spot to hitch from and off she went. I myself found the nearest cheap motel and crawled into bed at 6pm.
Today I’ll be headed out near Cripple Creek to see Katie, whom I spent almost every day with while I was in Berlin last summer. Her mama is a llama farmer here in CO, and I’m going to meet the llama she named after me, as well as Katie’s new bambino. After that it’s off to Woody Creek to have a drink in honor of Hunter S. Thompson, then Salt Lake City and San Francisco to help Chicken John out with a crazy maritime festival where we’ll build boats out of junk and dreams. The adventure continues!

Monday, February 6, 2012

Yours Truly, A Pyromanaical City Mouse

Here I am in New Orleans again, a far cry from the Amish countryside of Pennsylvania, though NOLA and farm livin' are much closer akin to each other than my parent's hermetically sealed house in the suburbs of DC. Here there are no screens on the windows to keep out the bugs (not that a measly bit of mesh would be any match for the beefy, steroid-laden insects that terrorize New Orleans anyway), and chickens out in the back yard. Heck, gunshots even resounded off the hills in PA – though from deer hunters, not drug dealers – so that was a little piece of home. And the architecture is drafty here, too, though I don't have to light any fires to keep myself warm.

I lit of lot of fires in PA. In the Shack Shack on Cherrymont Farm (see previous post) I became a connoisseur of newsprint. At first I only used the local broadsheets – Morgantown's little weekly, farmer's monthlies, horse rags, whatever came in the mail. Then I cleaned out my car and out came publications from my recent jaunt around the East Coast – alternative press from Key West, Ft. Lauderdale, Atlanta. My favorite was The Flagpole from Athens, GA: big pages, no staples to hinder my progress, paper supple and easy to manipulate, yet thick and long-burning*. Setting things on fire as a matter of survival rather than entertainment also imbued me with a special reverence for the nightly process.

The Shack Shack during a rare snow this winter.
Yes, it's amazing what happened to my perception of cold out in that drafty little shack. I always disliked winter, even as a child, and have not lived more than a few miles north of I-10 in many years as a result. To be fair, it has been a mild winter, but while walking around in New Orleanian shirt-sleeves last January it would have been hard to fathom sleeping – by choice! – practically outside in 14 degree weather. My little potbellied wood stove was not airtight, so while I could get the shack warmed up relatively quickly, it burned fast and by morning the place would only be a few degrees warmer than the out-of-doors. My mother brought up an electric blanket when she came to visit and it was like magic. Rather than dreading my inevitable extraction from underneath three comforters in the chilly mornings, the electric blanket bought me a couple of minutes of warm extremities, long enough to throw on my jeans, boots and coat and gather up clean clothes for a warm bath in the main house.

And now I'm back in 75-degree weather, gearing up for Mardi Gras and my bicycle tour. Having finished the first draft of my novel before vacating Cherrymont, the fire burns bright inside me.



*A Kindle ≠ kindling, it just smells really bad when you set it on fire. Yet another argument for hard copies.

Thursday, January 5, 2012

The Walden Experience

Daddy-o jams out on his birthday
"How vain it is to sit down to write when you have not stood up to live." - Henry David Thoreau

And here I am at Cherrymont Farm in central Pennsylvania, which is probably as close as this city girl will voluntarily get to the Walden Pond experience.

Cherrymont is run by Patrick, AKA Daddy-o, an old jazz aficionado with a gruff voice and a big heart. He dresses like an old Irishman in a wool sports jacket and sweater, his white hair reaching out from beneath a plaid newsboy cap. Daddy-o, like his ex-wife Jane in New Orleans, acts as a surrogate parent to many of the “degenerati” artists that regularly stop through for a few days, weeks or months. We celebrated his 69th birthday just the other night, and I'm amazed at what he accomplishes around here at his age. Cherrymont is no longer a working farm but there are still chickens and goats and plenty to be done.

Chopper the Dog in front of his home.
Daddy-o and Miss Jane purchased Cherrymont in 1980 and turned it into a flower farm for a spell, “selling perennials wholesale to the trade,” but it was a working farm for a very long time before that. The original part of the main house at Cherrymont may have been built as early as 1715. The huge property was slowly parceled off over the centuries, eventually bisected by the Pennsylvania Turnpike in the 1940s and then reduced to it's current size of 50 acres. We're deep in the heart of Amish country, and many of the local stores are staffed by the wives and daughters of the Mennonite population.

There's certainly a timeless feel to the lifestyle here. We're currently conserving gas until it gets refilled later this week, which means no cooking on the gas range and no baths. This morning I “showered” in the tub with a large copper kettle that had been warmed on the wood-burning stove that is the main source of heat for the house. It was charming in a novel, “wow, people used to live like this,” preparation for the apocalypse sort of way.

The Shack Shack, my new digs.
Daddy-o and Miss Jane have been collecting cabins since they bought the place, and the acreage nearest the house is dotted with little shacks, a barn and a tiny church that is used as a library. I've been staying in Hydrangea House, the nicest cabin on the property, also heated by wood-burning stove. It's a cozy little setup, with a loft for the bed, large windows, and a real porthole at the peak of the roof. I'm just shack-sitting though, and today the usual resident of Hydrangea will be back, so Daddy-o and I are going to go chase the squirrels out of what's lovingly referred to as the “Shack Shack” further up the hill. The Shack Shack used to house a ski-lift motor at Fairmont Park in Philadelphia up until the 70s. It's nine square feet, and will be my new home for the next month, or until I finish writing my novel. With any luck we'll be installing a pot-bellied stove in there before I move in. I haven't been through a real winter – never mind a real winter without central heating – for almost eight years now. I'm hoping the anticipation of the cold is worse than the reality to my thin Cajun blood.

Monday, December 19, 2011

Parents Say the Darndest Things

The best thing anyone's said about my music in a long time:

REECY: ... yeah, my music is kinda dirty.

REECY'S MOTHER: It's not dirty! It just has... adult themes.

I'm putting that on the cover of my next album.

Friday, November 4, 2011

Curbside Aural Glamour

busk  (bsk)
v. To play music or perform entertainment in a public place, usually while soliciting money.
Busking by the canal in Copenhagen.

Sometimes busking feels like magic: I convert songs into currencies of the world. This summer, the cafe terraces of Berlin became what I referred to as the Bank of the People – when I had no money, I would stop and play a few songs on my way to happy fun times and make a withdrawal. Nothing greedy, never more than I needed, but I was always in awe of the process.

It's hard to tell who will fall under my charms. In Berlin the visiting Spaniards would smile and often tip well, while the Germans might glare at me throughout my set and then drop a 2 Euro coin in my hat with steely-eyed expressions.

When I can pull the trick off I still feel like I'm getting away with something. When it doesn't work though, especially after multiple attempts, my mood generally sours – it's an emotionally taxing method of making money. For example, I once played at a large patio of an upscale restaurant near Alexanderplatz, and one person out of 30+ tipped me. I am always conscious of the fact that I am playing unbidden, and ultimately expect nothing, but I walked away from that crowd in a controlled huff. One week before, I played at two neighborhood cafes and walked away with 25 Euros (about US$35) for eight songs. That was about the best I ever did. Magic is fickle.

And now I'm relieved to say I've returned to the amateur leagues with my musical sorcery, at least for now. Though they are ultimately regenerative, it's tough when you're hawking pebble-sized bits of your soul to unsuspecting tourists. I'd much rather give them away for free.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Hostel in the Forest

The view out my window.
Yesterday morning I awoke to the sound of Kookaburra the Rooster crowing beneath my window. Refreshed, I rolled out of bed and pulled back the patchwork curtain. From the large window of my own personal treehouse I surveyed the scene below me – the chicken coop, the other elevated cabins, and the most artistic compost outhouses I'd ever seen, all surrounded by towering cypresses and pines. If you're ever in southeast Georgia, do yourself a favor and stay a few nights at the Hostel in the Forest.

My treehouse "Elmo", the original built on the property.

Things were slowing down at the Hostel for the one night I stayed – there were seven staff members and only two guests. Yes, the hippie vibe is strong, but the staff all have a calming way about them, and we spent a lovely evening around the camp fire spinning glow toys and hula hooping after chowing down on a home-cooked vegetarian meal of stuffed portabellos. If you ask the staff where they are from they will reply, “I'm from here,” and you can absolutely tell that no matter how long or short their stay has been, they consider this tranquil place their home. The new manager's story reads like a Hollywood script: clean-cut Yankee city boy relocates to rural Georgia to whip hippie hostel into shape. Life lessons and challenges both physical and psychological ensue. In his own words, “I didn't even know I needed this place until I came here.”


I myself felt very at home here, and from the moment I arrived I felt the inclination to pick up some tools and lend a hand. The Hostel, started in 1975, requires constant upkeep, and they often rely on the skills of the guests to keep it in good nick. If I can find the time I'd love to go back down and do some work exchange for a week or two.